Report to AloeVera 1.1

(General Direction)

April 2004

(From: Chairentity 7.12, AloeVeras base, the Moon.

To: Our Founder, AloeVera 1.1, Planet AloeVera)

Dear colleague and founder AloeVera 1.1 (general direction),

I have to report that in my absence Number 11 has turned all our ongoing projects into chaos. I gave very clear instructions from my sick cubicle that we would need HairyMammal solicitors for our dealings with the take-over of The ASSofA website and its conversion to AEROLE. It transpires that Number 11 hired Mesdames Butty McGivin, Busty Payup, and Leggy Smyle for the task - apparently they solicit solely at night from the side of the road. They are not exactly the experts in Business Law that I had in mind.

We had also thought that the website was just a front for Remulak, Pooh Bear being an alias, now it is clear that Pooh Bear really exists and is so devoted to the antisocial 'lifestyle' that it lives in a bunker, somewhere in the USA (Ultimate Shallow Association) Corporation.

We have now sold the shares in the ASSofA / AEROLE, since a website dedicated to not having visitors doesn't serve our purposes, and have to report that we have made a profit. We don't really understand the HM phrase 'made a profit' since we haven't made anything, so far as we can tell. A profit has happened to us, maybe that's more accurate?

Our ongoing project to persuade THO (The Horizontal One) to type and draw on our behalf is still very unproductive. We used the dream-sender to program him to go to an Art class, he attended, said 'Cor, this is good, innit?' then went home and resumed sleep. Still, prior to destroying the world, Remulak the Variably Titled has at least sent his rendition of 'Number 11's kettle slave being liberated.' Anticipating your question - no, we haven't a clue what Remulak means, nor do we recognise any resemblance to ourselves in the drawing. Remulak the Magnificent assures us that the enlarged mid section of its torso is a reinforced concrete weapon used for battering its way into enemy buildings. (See below).

As you know, we have difficulty taking photos because the solar wind interferes with our digital camera. However, here is the latest photo of Number 11 with extra limbs fitted. It had only just persuaded us to reduce our number of leg-like attachments to 2, so we could travel incognito on our visit to Earth, then it has all these extra arms fitted. Number 11 seems to treat every 'good reason' as an alibi for misbehaving.

It has decorated its service robot to resemble the tiger of Earth and Number 11 itself is apparently dressed as a Hindu goddess.

'Why has it got so many arms?' I asked.

'The gods had Hindugestion,' Number 11 explained.

I foresee problems with the service robots since Number 11 decorated its own, #11A, as the tiger. In the same day it has of course been attired as an Earth horse and made to gallop around the base with Number 11 onboard and I suspect #11A is now having an identity crisis. There are rumours of the service robots forming a trade union.

This would give Messrs. Jobsworth and Bigot of Earth severe apoplexy, I think. You see, there's a always a bright side. . .

Yours etc.

AloeVera 7.12

(Chairentity of our mission to serve tea on remote worlds)

P.S. We haven't served any tea yet.

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