Satire, Comedy & Fantasy
Short Stories & Imagination


Meaningful Short Stories

The House of Stone - part 3



part 1

*

The sky was overcast, the air humid, and no breeze. The midges aimed for Crystal's eyes and cobwebs caught in her hair as she walked down the path to the double gates. She sang to the gorse, which was recovering from its decimation by the estate agents prior to the auction of the property.

A car pulled up and a very small woman emerged carrying a clipboard and a briefcase. She examined the gates for identification and found none.

'Is this The Pond?' she asked, craning her neck to look Crystal in the eye.

'It is, though we're planning to change the name,' Crystal explained. Shame about the halitosis, she thought.

'And you are?' she accused. She tapped the clipboard with a biro.

'Indeed I am!' Crystal agreed and smiled at her. 'Please follow me and I'll introduce you to my sisters; the joint owners.'

She skipped ahead, uphill towards the house, and sang to the rocks and bushes as she passed. The air seemed more humid still and the TV monitor rotated her finger between her shirt collar and her neck to tempt some fresh air into the gap. Crystal entertained herself by imagining her visitor - a woman - with a pencil thin military moustache.

The flowers felt dusty, no birds sang, and the humidity was oppressive until they reached the house.

'Let's get to the bottom of this,' the TV monitor sneered, after being introduced to Annie. The stone dwelling was cool compared to the walk uphill from her car.

'Bottom of what?' asked Annie.

'We have no records of a TV licence for this address,' she demanded. 'We've sent letters regularly for the last twelve months and haven't received a reply.'

'We've lived here for a few weeks; before that it was empty. We replied to the letter the same day it came,' Annie explained.

'Are you prepared to sign this statement saying that you don't have a TV?'

'No,' said Pearl, entering the room. 'We don't sign statements about anything that we don't have; this includes mains electricity, gas, water, telephone and TV.'

The TV monitor opened her mouth.

Pearl smiled, and the room was flooded with gentle, silvery light from her pearl-like teeth.

The TV monitor lost the power of speech and gazed.

'Let me show you to your car,' said Crystal.

'Mm,' said the monitor, her eyes bulging slightly.

'I don't understand TV,' Crystal informed the monitor as she ducked under a branch which trailed fresh cobwebs.

'Mm,' she replied, her mouth hanging open, and one finger attempting to point back to the house.

'I should forget, if I was you,' Crystal whispered in her ear. 'I don't understand telephones either, but we've got a mobile phone for emergencies - you know, dodgy visitors or accidents.'

The TV monitor tripped over a slate that poked out of the ground in the path and Crystal caught her arm to steady her.

'I don't understand plumbing, either,' Crystal added, 'but we've got a well, and we boil the drinking water.'

'Mm,' she said, but with diminishing emphasis.

'I don't understand much of anything, come to think of it,' said Crystal, as she helped her into the car. Very briefly she stopped smiling and looked thoughtful.

'Drive carefully,' Crystal said, and she repeated it as the monitor began to drive away. Crystal closed the gate and headed back up the path.

The air cleared, and leaves began to rustle in the breeze. As Crystal passed each bush, the branches blossomed, the scent spread, a grass snake and several snails emerged from beneath a stone to follow her and a thrush landed nearby. Rather than cracking the snails for lunch, it started to sing.

Crystal joined in.

__________________________

A sequel - Crystal's Journey


Copyright Peter Fairbrother
share your views on the community blog

More short stories

Funny short stories - Secret Aerial Services (2)   The AloeVeras' first successful (!) business deals

Humorous satire, short story - Pest Food   Extracts from The Wogan Institute of Penetrating Sociological Insight & high Fat Diets ...

Short story - The Browsers' Indigestion  A satirical story of junk mail and eccentric inventors

Funny Short short story - Scarborough Fare   The reminiscences of Parsley and Rosemary.

Short sci-fi story - Secret Aerial Services   A sci-fi satire of business, internet and committee meetings

Short story satire - Malice In Numberland   Nobby Kanezza dabbles on the Stockmarket. Number 11 & Number 14 interfere and the chairentity flaps. And it's all because of some yak's cheese ...

Short story - Googlebots Rule   Sci-fi comedy, with spam and chips; plus a few bombs

Short story satire - Planet Meeja   Honda Prelude astral travels to imaginary worlds

Political satire (Bush) - Nun Negotiable   George Sees A Vision

Short story - The Lay-By of Sissyfoot     Honda Prelude's Astral Travels to Planet Revertia where she discovers a cure for slavery, courtesy of One Brightspark

Short story - The Job Creation Scheme   Where would we be without centralised schemes? Antonio finds out - well, he wood...