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Scarborough Fair story


scarborough fair story - comedy, humour, humor, fiction







Scarborough Fare

(The Saga of Parsley & Rosemary)

Extract from the annals of The Mill Road Institute1 for Young Offenders2

Personal diary of Parsley - Offender #21765 (Circa 1968)


I'm no sage, but I'm wise enough to suspect that herbs possess aphrodisiac properties.


We were only 15, Rosemary and I, when we were overtaken by an urge to conduct experiments of a biological nature during our school trip to Scarborough. The urge was urgent (well, obviously) insistent (really, I insist) and rendered us both temporarily demented.


The theme of the day's outing was geography. At least, it had been until we two bold adventurers discovered the secluded, rather idyllic herb garden, wherein the birds and bees were displaying a pronounced fondness for titbits and pollen.



♥ ♥


'What were you thinking of,' asked the judge.


'Dunno,' said I. I mean, what's thinking got to do with instincts?


'So why did you do it?' the judge persevered.


Rosemary nudged me affectionately in the ribs, only breaking a couple, and whispered, 'I bet he never when he was a lad!'


'Never what?' I asked. 'Ouch!' I added (they grind together most painfully when they're fractured).


The judge did sound a mite envious and had a faraway look in his one remaining eye.



'It seemed like a good idea at the thyme,' I explained.


The judge didn't get it.


But we did (18 months).



(I have the nagging feeling that this should be a song ... ).





( 1 Nowadays re-branded as The University of Wherewithal)


( 2 The offence? - being young)




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