The Boy

The boy stood on the burning deck
And felt the urge to piddle
His pee transformed the flames to steam
And he stewed in the middle
'God, that was close,' the captain said
He smiled, he laughed, he farted
A passing spark ignited it
KaBoom! Now they've departed.

The Girl

The girl was watching from the cliffs
Binoculars in hand
Admiring the waterworks
Imagining a band
Of gold upon her finger
And his young lips upon it
She saw the flash, she heard the bang
And she remarked 'Oh sod it!'