Said the pencil to the paper
You have excess self-esteem
You've ideas above your station
You think 'white' equates to 'clean.'

You can talk, you leaden pencil
I'll remind you without doubt
When you say what I dislike, then
My eraser rubs it out.

That's what you say, Mr. Paper
But stop acting like a toff
You're recycled as a loo roll
My, that is a nasty cough!

Cross your legs, here comes the sharpener
I can watch you get the point!
Blow your shavings in the refuse
'Cos I like a tidy joint.

We are due a truce, old buddy
See this electronic gear?
It's a palm top newsfeed reader
We're consigned to yesteryear.

Pencil, paper, blade and rubber
Simple tools for simple folk
Helped an ape evolve to Socrates
Try it, give your brain a poke!