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Funny fantasy - The Dire Tribe

funny, fantasy, comedy, illustrated stories,

The Dire Tribe of Thursleydale

Further to your allegations of our being a ‘dire tribe’, meant as an insult, we avow (*) that there is nought wrong with us.

(* good word – we looked it up! )

We were all of us born and interbred within the (mostly) People’s Republic of Thursleydale, and we’m proud of it.

During the last Government Senseless we were tested by some geezer in a suit and found to be 98.4% certified humanoid. He even left a copy of the official document for us.

If I may now take this opportunity to introduce my immediate family:

Billy Joe Dire senior (husband)
Billie Jo Dire senior (wife)

Billy Joe Dire junior (son and hair)
Billie Jo Dire junior (daughter, and more hair)
Billie Joe Dire (unknown *)

(* When Billie Joe Dire was a little 'un, we eld it upside down for the vet t’ examine un, but even the vet wasn’t sure. Now it be twelve it has started wearing a dress, much like its uncle Bill over Bunne in the Auvergne does (similar pattern too). But its also developing a blonde moustache like its ma. So we still ain’t sure.)

Anyways, we’m mighty proud of our official document, as you can no doubt imagine. We’ll try to arrange a photygraff of the hole tribe in our Sunday Best Barn with the susstificate / document / thing perched behind us upon a bale.

We had the document framed special by Billy Joe Wormfriend-Woodwhittler, the undertaker / pharmacist / private detective / marriage guidance counsellor (women only) / milkman.

Yours etc.,

Billy Joe Dire senior (Dire family Scribe)

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