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Myrtle the Fertile Turtle

poems, poetry, humorous, comical, funny,

Myrtle the Fertile Turtle

July 2005

In the bloom of yoof, young Myrtle Turtle
Took a shine to paint

'I'm gonna buy some,' she declared.
'I can hardly wait!'

She ambled off towards the shops
Her purse of pennies jingling

Then amorous George gave her the eye
Her toes they started tingling

Very soon behind a dune
Their DNA was mingling

And Myrtle's path through life and stuff
Had circumvented singling


Where's the paint?
'I got there late,'
Lied Myrtle the fertile turtle

Eggs! Twenty seven!!
'Oh lordy, oh heaven,'
Said Mertile the furtile tyrtile

'I'm depressed. What a din!'
(She's expecting again)
Is Mutile the futile tyrtile

'My family income supplement
Cannot feed this regiment!'

Wailed Murtle the fyrtle turtle

'God, what a mess.
Phone the DSS!'

Cried Murtile the fyrtile turtile

She dreams her teeth are falling out
'But it's not fair!' hear the shout!!
(That's Mirtle the firtle tirtle)

'I've got 'wrinkly neck'
Like an ageing tortoise gets,'

Declared Myrtl the fyrtl tyrtl

She wades through egg-shells - shades of green and blue
'I wish I'd bought those paints. Bleev me, I really do!'
Sighs Mrtl th' frtl trtl.

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